Wednesday, March 12, 2008

10,000 BC Movie Review



10,000 BC (action)
Cast: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle
Direction: Roland Emmerich
Critic Rating: /photo.cms?msid=2846150

PRE-HISTORY pre-supposes loads and loads of super special effects and high octane action with quixotic characters that are bullish, bearish, bindaas folks who have more to distinguish them from their modern cousins than their animal skin underwear. Does Roland Emmerich's blast from the past pass this litmus test and give you the mandatory masala? Only partially.

You have the regular loin-cloth hero battling the woolly mammoths, the gigantic sabre-tooth tigers and sky-high grizzlies; and you have the humans feasting on mammoth steaks, like quintessential cannibals. You also have wispy witches and shamans and gibberish-speaking rival tribes raising their ugly spears in naked conflict. And you have the conflict: a simple tribe of mammoth hunters being raided by evil intruders who ride four-legged demons (read horses) and take away their women and children, including the blue-eyed talisman of luck (Camilla Belle) who must be saved if civilisation has to progress. And the only guy who can save her is her boyfriend D'Leh (Steven Strait), even though it means walking up to the end of the world and battling a fearful entity, venerated as the Almighty.

Ironically, the story is more exciting to read than to see, for although the canvas is large, the thrills are not larger-than-life. And D'Leh's transition to heroism has nothing wild and pre-historic about it. Even the recreation of the evil empire, where the venal Almighty runs riot over his battery of human slaves, evokes a sense of deja vu. As for Omar Sharif's narration, it's too low key to build up the drama. What remains is the nostalgic flavour of those good old period epics that the Hollywood factory once excelled in. Recreate the nostalgia and capture a fragment of pre-history.

The Get Smart Movie Review




After being in development since 1999, Get Smart The Movie is virtually finished production and is scheduled to be released June 20, 2008. The remake will star Steve Carell as Max, Anne Hathaway as 99, and be directed by Peter Segal. Other important cast members are:
Alan Arkin - The Chief
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson - Agent 23
Terence Stamp - Siegfried

Ken Davitan - Shtarker
Masi Oka and Nate Torrence play Max's nerdy analyst friends Bruce and Lloyd.
David Koechner - Larabee
Bill Murray - Agent 13
Patrick Washburton - Hymie (cameo)
Terry Crews - Agent 91
The Great Khali will be playing the giant.
Bernie Kopell will be doing a cameo, as will several other interesting people. Dick Gautier, and Dave Ketchum will not be doing cameos and not all of them were even asked. Steve Carell has publicly announced that Barbara Feldon is not doing a cameo, but I'm hearing conflicting reports about that so they may be trying to have it remain a secret. It was not in the preview version I saw. The movie also will be dedicated to Don Adams and Ed Platt, which is a really nice tribute to Ed and his often-overlooked contribution to the series' success. Adding Ed's name to the credits is an incredibly classy move by the producers and should be applauded.
In the all-new action comedy "Get Smart," Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS. When the headquarters of U.S. spy agency Control is attacked and the identities of its agents compromised, the Chief (Alan Arkin) has no choice but to promote his ever-eager analyst Maxwell Smart, who has always dreamt of working in the field alongside stalwart superstar Agent 23 (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson). Smart is partnered instead with the only other agent whose identity has not been compromised: the lovely-but-lethal veteran Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway). As Smart and 99 get closer to unraveling KAOS' master plan — and each other — they discover that key KAOS operative Siegfried (Terence Stamp) and his sidekick Shtarker (Kenneth Davitian) are scheming to cash in with their network of terror. Given little field experience and even less time, Smart — armed with nothing but a few spy-tech gadgets and his unbridled enthusiasm — must defeat KAOS if he is to save the day. Inspired by the classic television series, the film also stars Masi Oka (TV's "Heroes") and Nate Torrence (TV's "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip") as Control's crackerjack analysts Bruce and Lloyd; David Koechner ("Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy") as Agent Larabee; and Terry Crews (TV's "Everybody Hates Chris") as Agent 91.

Meet the Spartans (2008) - Movie Review



Meet the Spartans is another parody made by the same people who has made other parodies such as Epic Movie and Scary Movie. And we all know how those movies suck. Even RottenTomatoes.com has given Meet the Spartans a score of merely 3%.

SPOILER WARNING: Plot and/or ending details follow.

This movie basically spoofed many things from Britney Spears to Paris Hilton, from American Idol judges (Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson) to American Idol contestant, Sanjay, not forgetting Ugly Betty, American’s Next Top Models (Tyra Banks, Twiggy, Ms. Jay), Ryan Seacrest, Donald Trump, Ellen De Generes, Rocky Balboa/Rambo, Spider-man 3, Transformers, Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Kevin Federline, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Dancing With The Stars, Deal or No Deal, Heroes, Ghost Rider, Casino Royale, Storm the Yard, You Got Served, Happy Feet and Shrek the Third. Even Brands like Subway, Gatorade, For Dummies, Dentyne Ice, etc. were not spared. Most of all, Chris Crocker - “Leave Britney Alone” YouTube video clip was used as Xerestron’s (transformed Xerxes) divine power.

Carmen Elektra, Sean Maguire and Kevin Sorbo in Meet the Spartans
Carmen Elektra, Sean Maguire and Kevin Sorbo in Meet the Spartans

Do you think it’s worth watching? And no, it’s not worth watching just because of Carmen Elektra. If you really insist to watch this movie, don’t forget to stay back after the credits as there are some scenes after that.

My ratings: 2 out of 10. Awfully disgusting. Most of the jokes only make sense if you have watched all the movies and TV series mentioned above, not forgetting the stars.

Fool's Gold Movie Review



Matt Damon does a mean Matthew McConaughey impersonation. The two hung out when they were struggling actors trying to break into the business, giving the former ample opportunity to study the latter's casual mannerisms. According to Damon's spot-on imitation, the chiseled McConaughey spends most of his time looking for an excuse to take off his shirt. Barbecue in the backyard? No shirt required. Church services on a Sunday morning? Leave the shirt at home.

This helps explain McConaughey's presence in Fool's Gold. The adventure-comedy is as pretty as it is dumb, but seeing as how it's set in the Caribbean, it does allow McConaughey ample opportunity to flex his pecs and sun his shoulders. Too bad for us it offers little else.

Only fools will part with gold, silver, or even copper pennies for a ticket to this disaster, which casts McConaughey as Finn, a one-track-minded treasure seeker whose marriage to Tess (Kate Hudson) ended up on the rocks because he couldn't stop diving for doubloons. Before they divorced, the two came close to finding a fortune in Spanish treasure that reportedly sunk off the coast of the Florida Keys. Now, with help from an eccentric billionaire (Donald Sutherland) and his dim-wit daughter (Alexis Dziena), they're giving the hunt -- and their relationship -- one last shot.

Director Andy Tennant is a competent filmmaker (Hitch, Ever After) who has made a bad film. Gold has no sense of adventure, and no thrills worth seeking. Scenes drag on too long and lead nowhere. Tennant applies a leaden touch to what needed to be a light caper. Stock characters are broadly drawn, from the murderous rap star (Kevin Hart) to whom Finn owes money to the rival treasure seeker (Ray Winstone) racing the couple to the gold. Sutherland plays his character as if he is hiding some big secret (he isn't). Dziena acts with her body. Hudson and McConaughey coast on what little chemistry they have, something which has long since been proven in other movies like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

Like a good treasure map, the Gold screenplay scatters clues that suggest the film's trove of idiocy. Early in the picture, Tess's attorney chastises her for entering into a marriage with slacker, scuba-diving treasure hunter Finn. "You married a guy for the sex, then expected him to be smart," the lawyer lectures. Level the same accusation at any audience member who buys a ticket to this charade because of the sexy poster, then expects the story and dialogue to be intelligent.

The script, credited to Tennant, John Claflin, and Daniel Zelman, pays no attention to logic and frequently disrupts continuity. Here's my favorite gaffe: Tess lectures rail-thin Gemma (Dziena) not to play dumb to get people to pay attention to her. In the very next scene, Tess begs Gemma to prance on the deck of her father's yacht in a non-existent bikini so men on a neighboring boat will be distracted. Welcome to the land of fools, where mistakes like that are worth their weight in gold.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Review



A wronged barber in 19th-century London wielding silver razors on a mission of vengeance sings ''They all deserve to die!'' in the thrilling epiphany aria that's the first-act climax of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. As any besotted devotee of Stephen Sondheim's 1979 musical-theater masterpiece knows, they all do. Die, I mean. Thwarted just when he has the throat of the villain he most wants in his hands — the evil Judge Turpin, who sent the then-named Benjamin Barker to prison years earlier on false charges — the brooding tonsorial artist expands his killing plans to include all who sit in his barber chair. The legend of this grim reaper and the widowed baker, Mrs. Nellie Lovett, who assisted him by grinding up dead customers into meat pies has been around for over 150 years. But only Sondheim's music and lyrics could explain the barber's reasoning so eloquently: ''The lives of the wicked should be made brief/For the rest of us death will be a relief.''

In other words, to stage a proper Sweeney Todd, necks must be slit, human flesh must be squished into pastries, and blood ought to spurt in fountains and rivers of death. Enter Tim Burton, who has chopped and kneaded an almost dauntingly famous theater piece into something that stands up to the screen, and has tenderly art-directed soup-thick, tomato-red, fake-gore blood with the zest of a Hollywood-funded Jackson Pollock.

Burton's adaptation, starring Johnny Depp in the title role and Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, isn't the most enduringly classic Sweeney Todd (that would be the original Broadway production, with Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury) or the most brilliantly original (nothing beats the deconstructed 2005 stunner, with Michael Cerveris and Patti LuPone). Songs have been cut and characters reproportioned in importance (the utilitarian screenplay, respectful enough of Hugh Wheeler's original book, is by John Logan, who co-wrote Gladiator). But this opulent, attentive production is splashed with signature style and hell-bent on entertaining Sondheimites, Deppsters, ladies who heart Alan Rickman in the role of the judge, and even Borat/Ali G-loving strays who wander in to see an uncontainably antic Sacha Baron Cohen in the role of a blackmailing faux-Italian con man. It's an impossible assignment, really, carried off with more-than-respectable panache

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Indeed, the movie is so finely minced a mixture of Sondheim's original melodrama and Burton's signature spicing that it's difficult to think of any other filmmaker so naturally suited for the job. (Okay, I'd love to see what American Psycho director Mary Harron would have done, but I'm sure DreamWorks wouldn't.) What Burton lacks (and I suspect he knows he lacks) in ease when it comes to directing fully liberated glee, real fear, and dangerous hilarity, he steadfastly attempts to make up for with compensatory floods of visual verve. Plus, he gets Depp, Bonham Carter, Rickman, and even Baron Cohen to sing.

Oh, Captain Jack Sparrow, gone to the really, really dark side! Burton has an affinity for the mayhem's Grand Guignol setting, of course. But more valuably, he has a unique collaborative relationship with his longtime leading man. And painted in chalky pallor and drop-dead under-eye shadows out of the Pirates of the Caribbean–Edward Scissorhands makeup bag, Depp propels the production through sheer graceful grit of stardom. He emphasizes the mourning man's melancholy (he misses his lost wife and the daughter who's now the hideous judge's ward) with a cold Sleepy Hollow ghostliness, rather than a hot, iniquities-of-the-world fury. Depp is a decent enough singer in a cast for whom vocal prowess isn't job No. 1 or even job No. 5, but singing almost doesn't matter, not while he's around: He's the most interesting person on the screen, and the demon barber he conjures is a fascinating interpretation.

As for Mrs. Lovett, she truly is a woman of ''limited wind,'' as Sondheim describes her and Bonham Carter sings her in a thin, breathy voice — it's difficult to believe that this particular bloody wonder can lift a rolling pin, let alone crank the handle on her hellish meat-grinding machinery. It's nice, though, how Bonham Carter's corpse-bride complexion complements Depp's; how Rickman's sadistic Judge Turpin oozes real erotic heat, not just twisted sexual tastes; and how honorably a big studio has, er, stuck its neck out to do right by one of the great American artistic creations of our time. B+

Michael Clayton - Movie Review


Michael Clayton the directorial debut of Tony Gilroy is not your typical legal thriller, it falls more in the visceral thriller movies like “Network” and “Constant Gardener”. The film manages to grab our attention immediately and without the normal recipe for a thriller movie. Michael Clayton isn’t a revelatory film, but it is a smart one that deals in
the grey world that we all live in, not the black and white one legal film are usually about.


The movie starts off with a fantastic monologue from Tom Wilkinson, some unexplained shots of characters in a degree of stress and an explosion to cap it all off, your attention is gripped. Michael Clayton (George Clooney), a "fixer" at a major Manhattan law firm. His job profile is that of cleaning up other’s messes, not litigating
in a court room, He calls himself a “Janitor”. Things are not looking good for him right now : his addict brother has run a business venture that Michael was a partner in into the ground, leaving Michael with thousands of dollars in debt; his relationship with his ex-wife is on the rocks, He hates the work, but the senior partner at the firm, Marty Bach (Sydney Pollack), wants him to stay and assigns Michael to restrain Arthur Edens (Tom Wilkinson), who is a lead attorney for a major case for the firm involving U/North, a huge, multifaceted corporation, has discovered startling evidence and begins plotting to publicly expose U/North, something that U/North’s lead corporate attorney, Karen Crowder (Tilda Swinton) cannot allow and begins looking at far more dangerous methods of containment. This is all I can say without spoiling the movie.


Michael Clayton is a thriller that works at a slower pace, but still manages to enthrall with its developments. Critical to the film’s success is its performances. George Clooney gives us a Michael who feels many aspects of his world closing around him and tries to keep all the balls in the air. Finally, Tilda Swinton’s Karen Crowder is a woman who is all about appearance and ensuring that no one rocks the boat of U/North. She has sold her soul to the devil and will do anything to keep the company intact.
For me, the one actor in this movie who comes close to a scene-stealing performance is Tom Wilkinson, who does a fantastic job at delivering Gilroy’s sharply-written
and very particular dialogue while portraying his character’s bi-polar disorder.

Michael Clayton is certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. It requires a strong attention span and does not spoon-feed the audience. If you can handle that, then it is a film experience that will provide some rewards

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The New World- Movie Review


Terrence Malick is a wonderful director whose work is sumptuous and engrossing. With Badlands and Days of Heaven, both of which I haven’t seen in a preposterously long time, Malick’s lingering tones and rich, meticulous shots are fully on display. In his career, which has spanned decades, the gifted American director has only made four feature length films and one short.

Malick’s use of his contemplative and pensive directorial style makes his films captivating and involving in the most inimitable of ways, as he unfolds his stories by involving the viewer in the panorama, the characters, and the time period without the suspension of belief. Malick’s films have an opulence to them that is rarely duplicated by any working director today. I look forward with immense eagerness to his next film, Tree of Life.

2005’s The New World is surely no exception to Malick’s trademarks. Encased in the most beautiful naturalistic surroundings, this tale of discovery is one of the best films from 2005. Malick also wrote this story of the founding of Jamestown, Virginia, and the settlement that is placed there by the English. The New World also highlights the story of Captain John Smith and Pocahontas, treating their love story with tenderness and a sense of adventure. The New World features production design by Jack Fisk and costumes by Jacqueline West. The set design and the scope of the production are incredible to experience and still seem remarkable after several viewings of the film.

The New World is a film about the strangeness and complexities of the arrival of the English settlers to Virginia, first and foremost. Using Pocahontas as its central character, the film explores these notions with depth and detail as her character becomes accustomed to a new society and becomes slowly and reluctantly assimilated into it. Pocahontas is played by the wonderfully talented Q'orianka Kilcher. Kilcher was fourteen at the time of shooting and some of her scenes caused a great deal of controversy, leading to some editing by Malick of a few scenes between her and Colin Farrell. Kilcher’s Pocahontas is never addressed by name throughout the film.

The New World strips away all of the fantasy and lore about the arrival of the settlers, choosing instead to see the events through the eyes of Kilcher’s character as her world suddenly has some very new, very strange visitors. The settlers begin to construct a fort with immediacy as Captain John Smith (Farrell) heads out to explore on his own. He meets Pocahontas and a bond is instantly formed after she saves him from certain death. The English, especially Smith, are as awed as the natives with the sumptuousness and the strangeness of this new predicament. We explore communications, customs, and ways of life through the eyes of the natives and the English, with neither side being portrayed as villainous or wrong. With Malick’s lens, we all are simply observers of the foundation and exploration of newness, strangeness, and the romantic notion of discovery.